Charlie just came home and kissed Caspian "hello." Caspian had just woken up a little earlier and was still lying on the Boppy, facing me -- so when Charlie kissed his head, Caspian didn't see it coming and didn't see who it was. Upon feeling the kisses, he looked up at me and saw that it wasn't me doing it -- and freaked out! The look on his face was unmistakably one of utter shock. I pulled him upright so he would be able to see Charlie, but he stuck out his poochie lip, crumpled his face, and broke into a big wail! He was so confused and freaked out, poor baby.

Saturday was Caspian's first "day out" in the Moby! Charlie wore him for the town Arts & Crafts Festival, then left the Moby on to use in BRU and Wal-Mart. Everybody stopped us to ask what the Moby was. Caspian was just chillin' the whole time. We had him facing out with his legs dangling, and he was so content! At the end of the day, Charlie didn't want to put him down because he was so used to wearing him. I told him, "Now you know why I didn't want anyone else to hold him early on -- he was mine for nine months!"

"See Our Breasts"
(Sing to the tune of "Be Our Guest," from Beauty and the Beast.)

See our breasts, see our breasts --
Everywhere, half-naked chests.
While we nurse,
The prudish curse
And wish we'd button up our vests.
Sorry, folks, look away
If we're too decollete,
But this is what boobs are made for,
Not those Wonderbras you've paid for.
We refuse to go feed
Hunched in bathroom stalls -- indeed!
We're appalled that you would make such rude requests.
Would you agree to eat
Upon a toilet seat?
See our breasts, see our breasts, free our breasts!

two months old
one month old
2 weeks old

Our clothes washer died mid-cycle yesterday, leaving a tub full of dirty water and cloth diapers. I had to pick out all the diapers, squeeze them out, and lug them to my parents' house in a garbage bag because we needed them last night. Let me tell you: if I ever doubted those diapers' absorbancy, it all ended when I felt how heavy they were, even after being wrung out!

I have to take Caspian's laundry over today, since he has a full basket. Do you know how much babywear it takes to fill a whole basket? We have got to get another washer...

GROWTH UPDATE: Caspian's post-diaper pre-feed weight yesterday afternoon was 13lb12oz! That's 6oz in three days! He's not super chubby, though, so he must be growing lengthwise to match.

I have mixed feelings about kids' message clothes. Many of them are unacceptable to me, like "That's it -- I'm going to grandma's" and "Don't make me call grandma" and "Spoiled Rotten." I know it's just fun for the grown-ups and the kids don't even understand, but I just don't like that kind of message walking around on my child.

You can have cute and funny messages without promoting a poor attitude. I like things like "I'm not spoiled rotten -- I just smell that way" and "Free burps with every fill-up!"

MILESTONE: Today was Caspian's first time with a babysitter. Well, it was Grandma and Grandpa, but Mommy still left him to go somewhere. It was a much bigger deal for me than for him. I had to go to quartet rehearsal, and Charlie's flight back from a conference in Seattle landed an hour later, so Grandma Bonnie and Grandpa Kirk came over to watch Caspian for two hours.

I'm either 1/9 beautiful or 1/3 beautiful...

How to make a Talia Jenea

Ingredients: 3 parts competetiveness 5 parts self-sufficiency 1 part beauty

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of curiosity and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

How to make a TaliaJenea

Ingredients: 1 part intelligence 1 part brilliance 1 part beauty

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of emotion

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

I breastfed standing up for the first time! I had to answer the door for Amie and didn't want to detach him, so I just tucked his body under my arm, supported his head, and stood up! He had no problem staying latched -- it was hilarious!

Let me just say, single parents are amazing. Just going two nights without Charlie here has made me so grateful to be married!

Caspian is growing up so fast! {{sniff, sniff}}

We brought back the Higginbotham Family baby scale from Stu and Steph's wedding, so we get to weigh the baby whenever we want. He was 11lb 11oz and 23" at his last appointment, on September 1st. Last night he clocked in at 13lb 1oz, and tonight, he weighed 13lb 6oz! And those are pre-feeding weights, too. I'll measure his length once he's sound asleep and can be laid straight.

MILESTONE OF THE DAY: Caspian's in his big boy diapers now!
He's outgrown the Sandy's XS and has finally transitioned into the Motherease OneSize. The legs on the Sandy's have been tight for a while. We tried putting him in the OneSize just this past week, and they were still a little too big -- but they fit now! He's currently wearing our only small AirFlow cover, which is intended for 6-12lbs but fits him with room to spare. We also have four medium covers, which are for 10-20lbs.

More strangers got to see my breasts this week! I fed Caspian in the Dallas airport (twice), on all four flight legs, in Stuart's car at the Denver airport, in the chapel at the United States Air Force Academy (twice), at the bachelorette party (a jazz club at a catering school), at King's Land Seafood Restaurant, in the office at The Phantom Canyon Brewery Company, and the TV room of our host's home. Praise God: latching him on is getting a lot easier, as is nursing in the cradle hold (and without a Boppy!). By the time we flew home, he was latching like a pro. I wouldn't mind getting some nursing tops, though. I always have to pull up my regular shirt, and exposing my post-pregnancy tummy embarrasses me more than breastfeeding in public.

Nobody ever had a problem with it either! We kind of expected a stewardess or some other passenger to complain about my partially-visible boobage, but no one ever did. Of course, I wasn't flashing myself out there or anything, and we were very discreet, but I NEVER put a blanket over his head while he's nursing. People expect it if you're going to breastfeed in public, but I won't do it. I tried it once at a friend's wedding, and it was awful for both Caspian and me. I couldn't see his face to make sure he was eating and latched on properly; he got overheated; the blanket kept falling and I had no hand free to fix it -- it was a mess. I tried putting it over both our heads, so I could at least see him, and that was awful too. Now I figure, hey, if you "don't want to see that kind of thing," just look away -- it's that easy. My baby's just having his dinner, and nobody's making you watch. It's not like my feelings will be hurt if you look away.

In case anyone's wondering, it is now a protected legal right in most states to breastfeed in public. And if nursing in public offends you and you don't want to turn away, well, you're welcome to put a blanket over your head.

Thursday night, we took Caspian to Wal-Mart. We expected that he would stay asleep in gis stroller (or at least content) as usual, but he kept fussing! We finally figured out that he just wanted to look around instead of being covered by both canopies. Mommy had to get over the lowering of the token germ barrier , but he was absolutely fine once he got a clear view of the outside world.

Caspian is up to 11lbs, 11oz and 23"! The ped wrote us a prescription for Desitin so we can take it on the plane with us. I'm now four pounds below my pre-pg weight! Breastfeeding is awesome. Wait, before anyone resents me, remember: I still probably weigh more now than you did pregnant.

God bless the bouncy seat! I keep mine in the bathroom and put Caspian in it when I need to do anything in there.

We were out of the house for 9 hours yesterday -- Caspian's longest! First we had my MW's funeral, then driving to the state capital to get his birth certificate, then my PT appointment, then hanging out at my parents' house. He slept most of the time he's in the car seat, but Charlie had him out during my appt, and I had him out at my parents'. He was great!

I can't believe we're flying out Wednesday! I'm starting to freak out about packing. How will I know what to take for the baby? We still have to buy him some dispoisables for the trip.

We'll see the ped and an OB tomorrow, so we should find out what Caspian and I weigh...

I can't believe my child turned one month on Saturday. I can't believe it's been a whole month, yet only a month.


Okay, do not watch the pilot episode of Battlestar Galactica. An android woman was marveling over the fragility of human babies to a mother with a carriage, saying stuff like, "It's amazing that their necks are strong enough to hold up their heads." Then when the mother stepped aside to talk to someone, the android reached in and snapped the baby's neck!!!!!!!!! It was really horrifying.

There is no doubt in my mind that Caspian just spoke to me. Yes, it's 6:40 a.m. Yes, I'm sleep deprived. However, he also spoke once to Charlie and me in the car yesterday, and once more sometime last night. But this time, he was right in front of me, looking at me, and he spoke. It was kind of a cross between a grunt and a coo, but it was clearly different from any other sound he's made before. I suspected he might have a low voice, and I was right...sounds like a baritone. I wish I had a sound file to post!

Okay, as I was posting here, he just started chuckling to himself! Oh my gosh, he's amazing! I can't believe I just heard my baby laugh -- twice!

Caspian went to church for the first time today!

Like many people, he enjoyed the music but fell asleep during the sermon. Unlike many people, he got his diaper changed in the prayer room.

We got word this morning that my midwife, Beth Broderson, succumbed to cancer last night. I grieve for those who never got to meet her, for those who suddenly have to deliver without her, and, selfishly, for myself -- for my subsequent pregnancies that she won't oversee. She's the only GYN I've ever seen, too, and I waited seven years for the privilege of having her deliver my child. Without exaggeration, she is the most amazing human being I've ever met. Was. She was.

It still isn't real for me -- it's like I'm outside myself. I've never had someone in my circle die before.

Every time I start to cry and call out to Jesus in my pain, He says, "She's with me!" It's kind of like getting slapped, the tears get cut off so abruptly. It makes me feel so selfish when I grieve her. She's not only no longer in pain, but she is totally in her element! Beth really was not part of this world -- she was way too incredibly awesome.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beththemidwife

Well, Caspian and I went somewhere without Daddy for the first time in Caspian's life! Ginny and her boys took us to Sonny's BBQ for lunch today...and we survived! No car crash, no contracting the plague, and no panic attacks. Ginny invited us out a few weeks ago, but we were sooo not ready to leave the house yet. I almost declined again today, but decided to bite the bullet instead. Fortunately, Caspian ate for 30 minutes at breakfast (lying down!!), so he slept almost the entire time.

Another first: he officially, indisputably smiled at me! He was on the bed in the Boppy, facing away from the door. I came back in from the bathroom and peeked at him from behind his head, and he looked up and smiled to see me!!! I was so thrilled, I walked around in front of him and kissed his neck and face a bunch of times...and he smiled again!

Caspian met uncle Stuart yesterday!

I love how Caspian eats with his pinkies up. Usually, he puts both fists up against his temples and just raises those pinkies! My favorite is when he grabs my fingers that are supporting his head and just holds on while he eats. Well, my other favorite is when he stares into my eyes as he's eating. He is so amazing.

I feel better about the pacifier, too. No nipple confusion here! If he just wants to comfort suck, he'll take it. If he wants to eat, he'll take the paci but then screw up his face and spit it out immediately. If he doesn't want anything, he just compresses his lips together! What a smart little boy. Even if we manage to catch his lips open, he'll clench his gums to show he doesn't want it. He does that when he doesn't want any more to eat, too. Nope, mommy, I refuse to open my mouth!

His little noises are great. He makes whiny trumpet sounds like an elephant when he's asleep but stirring. He also growls when he wants to talk. When he cries (which is only at two times: when he has had to wait to eat or when he is naked on the changing table and waiting to eat), it is the most pitiful, heart-wrenching sound in the world. It isn't angry or harsh — it's just sad. You can tell he's just a sad, forlorn little baby. It even sounds like "waah," which totally shocked me.