I'm doing much better now that we figured out that Perrin switched days and nights, so I'm napping with him from 4-7 or 8. I'm going to try to keep my blog updated now, and Charlie's working on putting together my birth video (both R- and PG-rated versions). I tried running light errands with the family on Saturday, and that was a VERY BAD idea. It took me almost two days to recover back to where I had been, prior to. Having people bring us food has been the biggest blessing (well, that and having people take Caspian when Charlie's at work). It relieves so much stress to know that we can open the fridge 24 hours a day (nursing hours) and find already-cooked food, ready to be eaten. Plus, baked goods are THE BEST grabbable, gosh-I'm-starving food for nursing moms: zucchini bread, pumpkin bread, chocolate bread, lentil bread, muffins, cookies...

I need to get some nursing clothes and at least one new bra. After nursing for over two years last time, I know now that it'll be a good investment. The trouble is finding my size...and for less than $50 a shirt! Nursing wear is mega expensive.

Anyone have a dishwasher they want to get rid of?

I'm so enamored of my new sweet boy. He looks just like Caspian, only with hair. There are so many poses and facial expressions I could do a side-by-side comparison of. He's definitely his own person, though. His voice is different; he's mellow but opinionated...he's just right to hold his own with his feisty brother. I was worried about loving him for who he was but the fact that it was "real" set in after a day or two, and I have no problem staring at him and kissing him all the time. He is very alert during his awake times, and looks around at everything. He likes it when I sing, and he's trying his darnedest to strengthen his neck.

Guess what happened last week? Well, I'm going to try to fill that in at some point, but what I was referring to was a visit from my Kate!!! She surprised us by driving down from northern Indiana with her kids to visit! She even used her mad photo skills to take some beautiful pics of 4-day-old Perrin. Whenever she posts them on her photography website or sends us digitals, I will link immediately so you can see them all.


It's definitely a test, trying to parent two. My fuse is pretty short right now, and I struggle with being patient and not losing my temper. Caspian is acclimating very well, given the circumstances. His acting-out has been very mild and pretty much limited to disobedience -- nothing against Perrin, praise God. We've been trying to keep Caspian's nap routine the same, with mixed success. Part of that problem is the fact that I need the bed to sleep with Perrin in the afternoon as well. I need to get the nursery cleaned out so we can put a twin bed in there for his naps. Sigh. To have the strength to stand long enough to wash my face, much less clean.

One scary thing happened this morning. I had finished Perrin's 6am feed and decided to stretch a little in bed before laying down. I stretched my arms and legs in opposite directions and felt two of my ab muscles separate. Seriously. It was so gross and it hurt and I wanted to panic. I had no idea that could happen, and un-extending didn't put them back. I was about to wake up Charlie to pass off the baby so I could stand up and try to scrunch standing up, but I decided to pray instead. Thank goodness I made that choice, because then I felt them go back together. Seriously. Our God is an awesome God! Hallelujah!

I had subscribed to this blog on my RSS feed reader, but it makes me so angry I had to take it off. Please, please, please check it out. I'm serious. Especially if you are pregnant or planning to become pregnant. Ever.

For the record, no, I don't want to be up/awake/in the living room right now. All night, Perrin would wake to nurse, I'd sit up and feed him, then I'd fall asleep sitting up. I'd wake up, sore from nodding/leaning, realize that his diaper needed to be changed and that I had to use the restroom myself, and wake up Charlie. They'd go wait in the nursery while I used the facilities, then I'd come change the diaper (amidst much protest against nakedness and wiping)...at which time Perrin would realize he was hungry. Sigh. Occasionally I'd try to go back to sleep instead of checking his diaper, but he never stayed asleep long laying down. As soon as this meconium passes, you can bet I won't be doing nighttime diaper duty. I'm not even supposed to be getting out of bed except to use the restroom, but I have to get my own food, change diapers, and carry Perrin to the living room so we can sit up. Awake. My body is so tired...

Labor + Sleep Deprivation + Breastfeeding + Constant Overexertion = not good for my recovery
That's one reason why we weren't discharged from the hospital until late yesterday (pulled out of the parking lot at 5:49pm). I overexerted myself by standing up to help change a really involved diaper and was dizzy the rest of the day. I did every other diaper, too, but this one was really messy and took a long time. I could feel myself going past the threshold, but we couldn't leave him sitting in that stuff. Laying down and eating didn't make it go away entirely, so the nurse even drew my blood to run labs before I left to make sure nothing else was wrong. The Percocet could've exacerbated the dizziness, so I'm just on ibuprofen for pain now. It is not sufficient.

I let Charlie sleep both nights in the hospital, including sleeping-in, so he would be rested enough to help me now when I need it most, but he's still sleeping...just like everyone else in this house but me. I haven't slept more than 30 or 40 minutes at a time for four days. I feel like crying. How dumb is that?

On a much more positive note, here are some more pics (albeit unsharpened). Click to see a larger version of each picture.

Perrin smiled at mommy and did The Fraser Eyebrow™ within seconds of each other, at two days old.


Daddy wasn't the first unsuspecting victim of a Perrin punch — Alyson Merrell got two in the face.


He already tries to look around at everything and prefers to sleep upright.


The first thing Caspian wanted to do was to cuddle on Mommy's arm.


The second thing he wanted to do was kiss his brother.


"Yes, you may!"


Neither the first, nor the last...by a long shot.

Caspian Holding Perrin

Caspian just met Perrin for the first time a few minutes prior to this, and gave him kisses without any prompting!

Perrin David Fiskeaux
born Sunday, April 19, 2009 at 5:49pm
7 lbs 8 oz
19.75" long

More to come…

Sharp vertical pain plus pressure "low down," both when I got up to use the bathroom at 6:30am and when I officially got up after sleeping in, at 8:30am. Forgot to mention, too — I "dropped" Wednesday afternoon.

Whole wheat chocolate chip pancakes (no syrup) made for a good breakfast while sitting on my ball. Can't stand sitting in solid chairs anymore.

CANNOT find our most important box of baby clothes!!! Found the 0-12 mo outerwear and 0-12 mo pants and 0-12 mo sleepers, but not ONESIES for crying out loud. How am I supposed to dress this child?!? It's 72 degrees outside!

Caspian has started giving spontaneous hugs and saying, "I love you!" and "I love you all the time!" Happy sigh.

He strings multiple sentences together and uses everyday phrases that sound so grown-up coming from him, like, "I have an idea — let's read a book!" His grasp of cause-and-effect is really neat, too.

He loves to scare and be scared, but the cats run away, which makes them a more fun target. We're working on that.

Our rule is that Caspian isn't allowed to lock a door unless mommy or daddy asks him to, even if we're in the room with him. He always pretends to lock the door when he shuts us in the office together ("I locked it pretend!") by twinkling his fingers over it and saying, "Zjoob zjoob zjah!"

Tried making peanut butter balls with Caspian this morning. He enjoyed measuring, pouring, and taste-testing ingredients, but NOT the mixing. Turns out he's like his daddy in that he doesn't like his hands being messy. He dug his hands in eagerly, then freaked out. :) Loved the end result, though.

Had labor-related low back pain last night and tonight. Some during the day and definite ctx throughout, but I haven't timed anything because they don't seem regular. I went for a family walk to the playground before dinner, then took a warm bath with Caspian when we got back. On the way home, I pushed the stroller while the guys walked. I must have been going a little slow up the hill, because Caspian started pushing with me and said, "You can do it, mommy!"

at the playground


"Mo-om, he's pointing at me!"


drum lessons


hugs & kisses


swinging like a monkey at the top of the slide (click to see up-close)



We have a game night scheduled for tomorrow, so maybe that'll relax me enough to go into actual labor. Plus Charlie makes whole wheat-chocolate chip pancakes every Saturday morning, which is a bonus. :) Technically 6 days to go, but fingers crossed for this weekend!

Prayers are appreciated, especially for no tearing...

Quick progress report: 2-3 cm dilated, 50-60% effaced (she said she over-estimated last time), and still -2 station. Last Wednesday I was 1cm. This baby won't last another 9 days in here, I don't think! :) We're aiming for this weekend. Prayers and food are appreciated! LOL

Giveaway!

Visit Marissa's photo blogsite for a chance to win a Lexington-area photo session!

PLEASE be sure to put in your comment that I referred you!

Okay, okay. So I know it's been awhile...like, since February 1st.

I have been meaning to catch up on blog posts, but Facebook is so much easier! I promise to try to transfer all the stuff from the last few months so it's accessible to non-FBers. Meanwhile, here's a Dailies exclusive story:

Last night, I was really nauseated when I laid down for bed. I wasn't sure if I needed to eat a snack, take Pepto, just go to sleep, or what. Any time something like this happens now, I wonder if my body is "purifying" itself for labor. (note to self: NOT YET, PLEASE!) Anyway, I went to sleep and had a very vivid dream, only the end of which I remember. I was substitute teaching and went out into the hallway for something and my water broke — gallons of water and ribbons bright red blood everywhere (yes, I know there shouldn't be red blood in my "water" but it was a dream, alright?). All I could think about was that my next prenatal appointment was that day, and I wondered if I should tell my midwife or not, since I wasn't ready to go into labor yet. I woke up in a panic and tried to make sense of the fact that my water had broken. I was really crampy, too! I couldn't reconcile whether or not it was a dream or reality, so I asked somebody and they said it had actually happened. I was wondering if the cramps meant I was in labor or not when I woke up for real.

Nice, huh?

CASPIAN STUFF:

• He loves reading "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom", Babar and Madeline stories, "The Droodles Storybook of Proverbs", Maisy the mouse books, books about babies and being a big brother, and Peter Rabbit.
• He loves playing music, especially doing percussion (everywhere), jamming on the keyboard (especially switching "voices" and adding pre-recorded backbeats), and using my recorder.
• He got his first self-inflicted paper cut yesterday, reading. It really confused him.
• He had his first authorized piece of candy (a Kiss) on Easter. Speaking of, wait 'til you see this video of Caspian sharing the Easter story!
  
• Everything is now a lightsaber. A friend of his had some duplicate Star Wars "Galactic Heroes" figures which he gave to Caspian, who didn't know anything about Star Wars. Now he knows all their names, has seen relevant scenes in the original films (courtesy of grandma), and the first part of Episode IV (courtesy of daddy). We're trying really, really hard to get him out of the violent mindset this has encouraged. I don't mind the constant swordfighting (as he calls it), just when he says, "Kill! Kill everybody!" We're trying to teach him to "stun" instead.
• He is very opinionated about his clothes now. Some days he insists on khaki pants or a tie-dye shirt, etc.
• His favorite things to watch are classic Disney animated films, Pixar films, and VeggieTales.
  

PICTURES:

Best friend Becky, her husband Ed, and their daughter Amelia (Caspian's birthday buddy) visited scenic Wilmore last month. Becky also did an amazing maternity shoot with us while she was here. We've seen a few of the shots but can't wait to see more of the pictures she took!!!


Caspian's board game addiction has decreased lately, but this was at its peak. Bonus points to Kate and Crystal if they remember which one this is! (no cheating, mom)


our cuddlebug wakes up daddy from a nap


April 5, after our church Easter egg hunt


We're planning another natural childbirth with a midwife and a doula at the hospital. I want to avoid back labor if I can, this time, so I spend a lot of time on hands and knees (the birthing ball really helps and is a comfy seat, too). Caspian likes to use his ball with me.


My awesome friend Tracy got her aunt to do a henna tattoo on my belly! This is the dark brown paste, but it flaked off and left an orange-hued tattoo which faded to freckle-brown.


Caspian is authorized to perch atop his baby brother for the last time until they're at least 8 or 9.


If you want more, join Facebook or just be patient...