Wednesday, April 22, 2009

For the record, no, I don't want to be up/awake/in the living room right now. All night, Perrin would wake to nurse, I'd sit up and feed him, then I'd fall asleep sitting up. I'd wake up, sore from nodding/leaning, realize that his diaper needed to be changed and that I had to use the restroom myself, and wake up Charlie. They'd go wait in the nursery while I used the facilities, then I'd come change the diaper (amidst much protest against nakedness and wiping) which time Perrin would realize he was hungry. Sigh. Occasionally I'd try to go back to sleep instead of checking his diaper, but he never stayed asleep long laying down. As soon as this meconium passes, you can bet I won't be doing nighttime diaper duty. I'm not even supposed to be getting out of bed except to use the restroom, but I have to get my own food, change diapers, and carry Perrin to the living room so we can sit up. Awake. My body is so tired...

Labor + Sleep Deprivation + Breastfeeding + Constant Overexertion = not good for my recovery
That's one reason why we weren't discharged from the hospital until late yesterday (pulled out of the parking lot at 5:49pm). I overexerted myself by standing up to help change a really involved diaper and was dizzy the rest of the day. I did every other diaper, too, but this one was really messy and took a long time. I could feel myself going past the threshold, but we couldn't leave him sitting in that stuff. Laying down and eating didn't make it go away entirely, so the nurse even drew my blood to run labs before I left to make sure nothing else was wrong. The Percocet could've exacerbated the dizziness, so I'm just on ibuprofen for pain now. It is not sufficient.

I let Charlie sleep both nights in the hospital, including sleeping-in, so he would be rested enough to help me now when I need it most, but he's still sleeping...just like everyone else in this house but me. I haven't slept more than 30 or 40 minutes at a time for four days. I feel like crying. How dumb is that?

On a much more positive note, here are some more pics (albeit unsharpened). Click to see a larger version of each picture.

Perrin smiled at mommy and did The Fraser Eyebrow™ within seconds of each other, at two days old.

Daddy wasn't the first unsuspecting victim of a Perrin punch — Alyson Merrell got two in the face.

He already tries to look around at everything and prefers to sleep upright.

The first thing Caspian wanted to do was to cuddle on Mommy's arm.

The second thing he wanted to do was kiss his brother.

"Yes, you may!"

Neither the first, nor the a long shot.


Blue Luna Photography said...

He is beautiful.
thank you for sharing your new baby boy with us!
{I think he already looks like Caspian!}
Love the sucker punch shot.

Big hugs for you chickie.
We send our love and cant wait to see the FOUR of you.

Matthew & Kate said...

LOVE the one of the three of you snuggling. You must frame it!

Jules said...

aw, bless you Hilary. that maddening feeling is not so far in my past that I don't sincerely empathize with you right now. realistically i know I can only have empathy and prayers for you right now, but if there's more I can offer, let me know.

Becky Naffine said...

It is tough Hilary but it is temporary. Don't wait for someone to offer help, ask for it. The sleep deprivation really hit me hard too and I shed a few tears in my delirium. I love the pic of you snuggling with your two boys, adorable.